Back to the basics

One of my biggest passions in life, besides knowing my Lord and savior Jesus Christ, is music. I'm not obsessed like Jordan Shoenberger, but I love music. I love everything about it... except bad music.

I think I would love being a DJ on the radio or even just a music critic. Being payed to listen to music would be awesome. My biggest problem is my fairly eclectic taste in music and my attraction towards the unknown and underground. I don't think there are many people who would want to listen to the music I would want to play.

Anyways I've a recent burning in my heart and honestly a craving for the music that I grew up with. Does anyone else miss Tom Cochrane and Taco(my family wasn't really into rock that much)? No? how about Pearl Jam and Sublime? And for you fans of "christian" music (Christian is a noun not an adjective), anyone miss DC talk? I do. Argue all you want, but DC talk is the greatest "Christian" Band/music group ever. Say whatever you want about Jars of Clay, but DC talk changed the game.

The Hardest Thing

Try to think of the hardest thing that you've ever done.

Was it ending a relationship? Starting something new? A class? A job?

What about it made it so difficult?

For most of us, the most difficult times in our lives are when we have no control.

As Christians we "know" that God is taking care of us and has a plan and ultimately His way is better and giving Him control is the best way to handle any situation. Yet we still try to control our own lives.

"The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in and by the man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him." -D.L. Moody

The reason the world hasn't seen what God can do with a man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him is because we still try to take control. We still seek after our own desires.

Right now I am raising support to go to Africa for the next two years. I can honestly say it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Not the going part. That part isn't that bad. It's the contacting people to try and raise support part. The part that I have no control over. I can't make people understand the importance of what I'm doing or even give me money. I can't even make people pick up the phone when I call. After next week, I'll be half way through the time I have to raise my support. I may have half of my support raised, but I feel like I'm running out of people to talk to. Even on good weeks I feel like I spend most of the week stressed out or worrying that I'm not going to get enough people.

I honestly have no idea where the money is going to come from. I am trying to trust that God is going to provide. I think the reason it's hard is that I don't fully believe in God's provision. I've been telling myself all the time that it's not about the money. It's about the work that God is doing. I might not even believe that. I need a big change.

Because of His grace and for His glory.

Times

I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, but its been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?

now you pulled me near you
when we're close i fear you
still im afraid to tell you
all that i've done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look pass my pretending?
Lord i'm so tired of defending
what i've become
what have i become?

i hear you say "my love is over,
it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
it's inside, its in between,

these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and *are tempted* to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
i'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
i'm there through your heartache
i'm there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i don't care where you've fallen, where you have been
i'll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends

Ramblings of a Beggar

I got the idea for the title of this blog from a song, but I don't think I ever shared that. The song is called "Ramblings of a Beggar" by Shawn MacDonald. It's a simple song, but it's very true:

Would You open up my eyes,
And show me the light,
Take me away, from this place,
Would You open up my eyes and show me the light,
'Cause I cannot make it alone,
I need, I need You,
I need, yes, I need You,
To free me