Pile it on

I am very hesitant to say that my life sucks. I know how blessed I am and how so many people are far worse off, but sometimes life is really difficult. The past couple weeks I feel like everything has been going wrong. My parents are stilled unemployed. I lost a scholarship from Penn State. I've been spending a lot of time with this girl, hoping that it would develop into something, and we talked about, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship. For a while it looked like my grades were going to slip a a decent amount. I've been trying to get this job, but the guy hasn't been calling me back and it's been pretty frustrating. My grandmother had blood clots in her spine and passed away today. It's that time in my life where life just seems to pile it on. I don't know when it's going to stop. All of this has just added to my struggle with being at ACF.

I don't know if I can do it anymore. I don't know if I can keep going to ACF. I don't think anybody really wants me there. Earlier this year I didn't go to ACF for a couple weeks and the only people that said anything to me didn't really care why I wasn't there. They just expected me to be just because I'm always there and I'm the head trustee. It's really frustrating. Especially when there are people that I am directly responsible for their involvement and ACF, like Jenny, Charlotte, and John, and people want them to be there, and they are more a part of ACF in their little time there than I have ever been in three years.

My walk with God hasn't been too good recently and I'm at the point in my life where I really need to take care of myself, and be selfish and think of myself first for a little bit. I'm not really sure what I need, but I don't think ACF can give it to me because it hasn't the past three years. I'm not going to keep going to ACF if people don't want me there and if I don't really want to be there.

Because of his grace and for his glory