'Tis the season that makes me vomit

I've been called a scrooge several times, and you might agree, but really I'm not. I'm just critical of how we "celebrate" our saviors birth. Why do we give each other presents? Why do we put up a tree in our living room and put lights on everything? Who came up with a fat guy in a red suit traveling around the world, eating cookies and giving out presents? I doubt anyone can tell me how most things we associate with "Christmas" is associated with the birth of Jesus Christ.

All these things do is distract a majority of people away from reality. That we are fallen and screwed up and the only way for us to be reconciled with our creator and father is for God himself to come to earth and die for us. And Hallelujah, he did!!! Nothing else we encounter that is so heavily "associated" with an event or holiday as Jesus with Christmas gets ignored as much as He does. Yes, if you went into a church yesterday there probably was a Christmas eve service. Hopefully focused on Christ. And maybe you had carolers come by and sing real Christmas songs. I'm going on a tangent to explain what real Christmas songs are. For me at least, real Christmas songs are hymns, or whatever you want to call them, that actually talk about Jesus. Not Santa Clause or Rudolph or a winter wonderland.

Anyways most people that "celebrate" Christmas don't do so because of Jesus and never mention his name around the holiday. That's the biggest part of my beef with Christmas.

This holiday also brings out as much bad in people as good. Have you ever been in a tragic shopping accident? I have and it's not uncommon in the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I saw "Jingle all the way" a little while ago. It's about a guy who promised his son an action figure and forgets, and by the time he remembers, they're all go. So he does whatever we has to get this doll. Including fighting a bunch of Santas. I know it's an extreme but a lot people parallel this type of behavior. Our materialistic nature comes to its ugly height at Christmas.

I'm not a scrooge. In fact I would say I feel this way about how we celebrate Christmas because of how much I love the holiday and how much it means to me.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Comical couple

So my brother has a girlfriend now. She came to our church's Christmas eve service, and she probably thinks I'm rude. They sat next to me, and I didn't look at her at all. I couldn't. I was having a hard enough time trying not to laugh. Not because of her or anything, but my brother. I just never thought I'd see this happen. Seriously. You'd have to know him to understand.

Angelina

Oh Angelina
You are the sun and the moon
Every song I ever sang, I stole it from you
I knew that nothing could tear us apart, I never even gave it a second thought
I was so sure and I was wrong, Now every single thing I ever had is gone

Nothing here is set in stone
Nothing's ever set in stone
Everything I have some day will fall apart and fade away

Oh Angelina
I learned my lesson this time
I took you for granted for so long And now I just wanna die
Every thing I ever got, I never even gave it a second thought
I was so sure, I was so sure - Now there's only one thing I know for sure

Nothing here is set in stone
Nothing's ever set in stone
Everything I have some day will fall apart and fade away


Nothing here is set in stone
Nothing's ever set in stone
Everything I have some day will fall apart and fade away

Nothing here is set in stone
Nothing's ever set in stone
Everything I have some day will fall apart and fade away

Nothing here is ever set in stone

Withdrawal

I'm a pessimist. I typically look at things in a negative even cynical way. Every once in awhile this gets me into trouble. Actually I go through bouts of depression pretty regularly. Especially around any type of holiday, like Christmas. It's not like I get depressed because I have a crappy family situation or no friends or anything. I just analyze and many times judge things and get depressed about what I see.

The reason sometimes it gets so bad is that I feed it. When I feel depressed or upset about something, I just withdraw more. It's not until I do something engaging with someone that I'm able to fight it off. Like a week ago I was feeling pretty down before, during, and right after the banquet at ACF, but once we got to the mount I started to feel a lot better about everything. I know how to fight feeling depressed, but I don't always do that. Why not?

I think part of us likes feeling miserable, if for no other reason because when we finally take comfort in something or are comforted it feels that much better. When the lows are really low the highs feel that much higher. But I also think, at least for myself, that I want to feel sorry for myself. I want to tell myself how bad I'm doing at everything, how I can never do anything right, so that I can sympathize with myself and justify how I'm feeling. I don't know. I'm just rambling now. I've said all I wanted to say.

"Anything Right"-P.O.D.

"So much to say so little time for me, to explain the way I feel
You only see, things the way you want to see them
It makes sense to you all these things you do
You’ve got it all figured out while everyone is confused
How do you do it?
In your mind I'm just blind
You're right all of the time
If I think for myself, I guess I'm way out of line
I'm not who you are
I'm so sorry


I can't do anything right
You don't know me, stay out of my life
Kick me while I'm down, I want you to
I can't be like you
Don't want to be like you

I can't do anything right
You don't know me, stay out of my life
Kick me while I'm down, I want you to
I can't be like you
Be like you

No matter what I do it's never good enough
I give all that is me; still it's never enough
So, why try? I give up.
What does it feel like to be in your shoes
And walk over everyone like you do?
Take me down again, I want you to.
You're lovely, so beautiful and
You're perfect in every way.
Your interior rusted and I'm so disgusted
Can't trust it. You're busted.


I can't do anything right
You don't know me, stay out of my life
Kick me while I'm down, I want you to
I can't be like you
Don't want to be like you

I can't do anything right
You don't know me, stay out of my life
Kick me while I'm down, I want you to
I can't be like you
Be like you

I can't do anything right

Is that it?"

Because of his grace and for his glory.

The real McCoy

Colt McCoy doesn't get any love.

Not only is he a stud athlete...

But he's also an amazing and humble guy.

I'm not saying Sam Bradford and Tim Tebow didn't deserve the awards they got, but Colt McCoy doesn't get enough love.

Public perception

I think about how other people see probably more than I should. I don't change who I am for other people, but I just want to know what other people think of me. I've been noticing a wide variety or perceptions the people have of me, most of them with serious flaws.

I've been fortunate enough to get to know some of the freshmen that come to ACF pretty well and one time I was having tea with one of them and we somehow ended up talking about how I'm pretty antisocial and not real friends with a ton of people. She didn't really believe me at first. Yeah I know most of the people at ACF, but I only really spend any significant amount of time with a handful, and while I'm not enemies with very many people I feel like I'm not really friends with people I don't spend time with. Anyways, she thought that I was friends with everyone and knew everyone and everyone knew me.

Another time I was having tea with a freshman we were talking about the banquet, which was coming up soon, and I said that I still wasn't sure if I was going and that I had never been to a fall banquet. And again she was surprised. She thought I was all gun ho, love ACF, go to everything. Sometimes I really can't stand being at ACF and don't want to go anymore, but maybe I'll write about that another time.

It's probably the worst in my own class. I'm not really friends with too many other juniors at ACF. Yeah I talk to them at ACF or if I see them around, but I don't really hang out with too many of them. Anyways I find that when I'm around people from my class I act and I think and view things differently because of the way that they see me. I don't really like it, and it's hard to explain, but there a lot of incorrect perceptions of me out there that I wish I could change.

Because of his grace and for his glory.

Not now

Come here, please hold my hand, Lord, now
Help me, I'm scared please show me how
To fight this, God has a master plan
And I guess, I am in his demand

Please save me, this time I cannot run
And I'll see, you when this is done
And now I, have come to realize
That you are, the one who's left behind

Please stay untill I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me
I'm right here waiting

I see, the light it feels good
And I'll come, back soon just like you would
It's useless, my name has made the list
And I wish, I gave you one last kiss

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me
I'm right here waiting
And take my one last breath
And don't forget
That I will be right here waiting

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me
I'm right here waiting
And take my one last breath
And don't forget
That I will be right here waiting