Hugh Jackman, I am sorely disappointed in you.
I had high hopes for you after The Prestige.
Wolverine had moments of disappointment, but overall was solid.
But now, not only have you gone and gotten yourself voted the sexiest man alive, but you have tainted what could have been an outstanding movie about racism and standing up for what you believe and finding where you belong and becoming a man with Hollywood's greatest blunder, the "I hate you, you hate me, lets fall in love" story.
Really Hugh, Really? I thought you were better than that.
Is any one else disappointed in mainstream Hollywood for making almost every story into a love story?
And yes the movie he tainted is Australia. Not awful, but far from worth eight bucks.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Jealousy will get you no where
So I've been thinking about a lot of stuff recently. Mostly about how I view myself and I'm a pretty jealous and untrusting person.
I've been spending a lot of time with a girl that I met earlier this semester. No, we're not going out (at least not yet), but I've been trying not to make the same mistakes with her that I've made with other girls. The first time we were hanging out together alone I straight up told her that I liked her, but I wanted to get to know her better (thank you Matt Cohen), so we've been hanging out a lot, and it's been really good, but it's also showed me how much I still have to work on.
On Wednesday after ACF she was talking to a guy that I didn't really know that well, and to be honest I wasn't happy about it. I was jealous. Not because of how she looked at or acted with him or anything but because of my own insecurities. I have a very poor view of myself. My thought with any girl I liked has always been "She's great. She deserves better than me." Which is probably true, but that never thinking I'm good enough, not just for girls but for a lot of things, has really taken it's toll on me. I let my insecurities dictate the way I view a situation. I'm not jealous because he's a great guy (even though he is). I'm jealous because I look down on myself.
A couple days ago I was cleaning out my desk and I found a piece of paper from high school. In tenth grade I did this "stress management" thing with my guidance counselor and about eight other people. The underlying reasons why we get stressed over school work or home situations or whatever. For me it was about how I view myself and what I do. Most of my memories that really stand out are all the stupid or foolish things I've done, so many times I associate myself with those actions. Anyways this piece of paper was from that stress management group. On day we all had like 5 or 6 heart shaped pieces of paper that we wrote something about or for another person in the group. This paper said: "If only you could see yourself as others see you!" And my immediate thought was that if people saw me the way I saw me or knew the things that I knew about myself then they wouldn't think of me as such a good guy.
Once I told of friend of mine that I was a huge jerk. I didn't really tell her why. It was because a number of different things that I had done or handled poorly, but she didn't believe me. She said that I was a good guy. She only said that because she didn't know what I had done, but at the same time I think of myself poorly because I choose to dwell on the negative things I've experienced. Why is that?
Why do I choose to dislike myself? I used to confuse humility with a having a low self view. Prideful people hold themselves in high regard and think that they are better than other people, so to be humble we need to be the opposite of that right? FALSE. I know that's not true now, but I still look down on myself. I don't know why. I don't care if you read this. I told one of my roommates that he should blog, and he said he couldn't because he didn't want to write for other people and try to sound so holy or critical or whatever. I don't care if you read this because I don't write for you. I write for my own benefit and to help myself think through things. I invite you to read if you want as an opportunity to learn how to open up to more people and for God to open doors for us. That's all. Hallelujah. Amen. You are dismissed.
Because of his grace and for his glory.
I've been spending a lot of time with a girl that I met earlier this semester. No, we're not going out (at least not yet), but I've been trying not to make the same mistakes with her that I've made with other girls. The first time we were hanging out together alone I straight up told her that I liked her, but I wanted to get to know her better (thank you Matt Cohen), so we've been hanging out a lot, and it's been really good, but it's also showed me how much I still have to work on.
On Wednesday after ACF she was talking to a guy that I didn't really know that well, and to be honest I wasn't happy about it. I was jealous. Not because of how she looked at or acted with him or anything but because of my own insecurities. I have a very poor view of myself. My thought with any girl I liked has always been "She's great. She deserves better than me." Which is probably true, but that never thinking I'm good enough, not just for girls but for a lot of things, has really taken it's toll on me. I let my insecurities dictate the way I view a situation. I'm not jealous because he's a great guy (even though he is). I'm jealous because I look down on myself.
A couple days ago I was cleaning out my desk and I found a piece of paper from high school. In tenth grade I did this "stress management" thing with my guidance counselor and about eight other people. The underlying reasons why we get stressed over school work or home situations or whatever. For me it was about how I view myself and what I do. Most of my memories that really stand out are all the stupid or foolish things I've done, so many times I associate myself with those actions. Anyways this piece of paper was from that stress management group. On day we all had like 5 or 6 heart shaped pieces of paper that we wrote something about or for another person in the group. This paper said: "If only you could see yourself as others see you!" And my immediate thought was that if people saw me the way I saw me or knew the things that I knew about myself then they wouldn't think of me as such a good guy.
Once I told of friend of mine that I was a huge jerk. I didn't really tell her why. It was because a number of different things that I had done or handled poorly, but she didn't believe me. She said that I was a good guy. She only said that because she didn't know what I had done, but at the same time I think of myself poorly because I choose to dwell on the negative things I've experienced. Why is that?
Why do I choose to dislike myself? I used to confuse humility with a having a low self view. Prideful people hold themselves in high regard and think that they are better than other people, so to be humble we need to be the opposite of that right? FALSE. I know that's not true now, but I still look down on myself. I don't know why. I don't care if you read this. I told one of my roommates that he should blog, and he said he couldn't because he didn't want to write for other people and try to sound so holy or critical or whatever. I don't care if you read this because I don't write for you. I write for my own benefit and to help myself think through things. I invite you to read if you want as an opportunity to learn how to open up to more people and for God to open doors for us. That's all. Hallelujah. Amen. You are dismissed.
Because of his grace and for his glory.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Just give me something to believe
So I've basically been thinking and feeling in song for the past week or so. This past weekend I went canning and for extend periods of time I would just belt out in song the words on the signs around me because no one could here me except me. Anyways my last two posts were lyrics from songs, and this one will include lyrics as well.
Pastor Aaron spoke this morning a little about how people want to believe something. They are searching for something bigger than themselves, and I immediately thought of the song I'm going to post the lyrics for. It's cool because the guys in this band aren't Christians, so it just shows that Pastor Aaron was right.
I've been thinking a lot about the regular shouting matches that go on by the Willard building. The president of the atheist club is there all the time arguing with people even if the Willard preacher isn't around. I wonder if anyone has grabbed coffee with him and simply asked him what he believed without trying to disprove him or win an argument. That's how God uses us to save people. Not by winning a debate, but by a real conversation. By love. I thought about asking the atheist president to lunch to find out what he believes, but I haven't acted on it. Maybe I should. Anyway lyrics are below. Good song. "Believe" by The Bravery.
The faces all around me they don't smile they just crack
Waiting for our ship to come but our ships not coming back
We do have time like pennies in a jar
What are we saving for [x2]
There's a smell of stale feeling that's reeking from my skins
The drinking never stops because the drink absolves our sins
We sit and throw our roots into the floor
What are we waiting for [x2]
[chorus]
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
Somethings always coming you can hear it in the ground
It swells into the air
With the rising
Rising sound
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors
What are we waiting for [x2]
[chorus]
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done
[chorus]
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
Pastor Aaron spoke this morning a little about how people want to believe something. They are searching for something bigger than themselves, and I immediately thought of the song I'm going to post the lyrics for. It's cool because the guys in this band aren't Christians, so it just shows that Pastor Aaron was right.
I've been thinking a lot about the regular shouting matches that go on by the Willard building. The president of the atheist club is there all the time arguing with people even if the Willard preacher isn't around. I wonder if anyone has grabbed coffee with him and simply asked him what he believed without trying to disprove him or win an argument. That's how God uses us to save people. Not by winning a debate, but by a real conversation. By love. I thought about asking the atheist president to lunch to find out what he believes, but I haven't acted on it. Maybe I should. Anyway lyrics are below. Good song. "Believe" by The Bravery.
The faces all around me they don't smile they just crack
Waiting for our ship to come but our ships not coming back
We do have time like pennies in a jar
What are we saving for [x2]
There's a smell of stale feeling that's reeking from my skins
The drinking never stops because the drink absolves our sins
We sit and throw our roots into the floor
What are we waiting for [x2]
[chorus]
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
Somethings always coming you can hear it in the ground
It swells into the air
With the rising
Rising sound
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors
What are we waiting for [x2]
[chorus]
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done
[chorus]
So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Above and Below
"Above and Below" by The Bravery
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna leave this place for good
Under the ground
I'll live down there without a sound
And never hear
These hissing voices all the same
I'll disappear
Cause living makes me feel ashamed
I must believe
There's more above us and below
I must believe
Stranded with this bitch called hope
It keeps me here
When all I wanna do is go
It keeps me here
When all I wanna do is disappear
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I'll leave today
Cause there's nothing left to keep me here
I'll fade away
I'll turn my back and disappear
The city moves
Lunges up right from the ground
The seething Earth
It opens up and spits us out
This vicious child
Nature never wanted us
This vicious child
A cancer burning black into it's heart
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I'll leave today
Cause there's nothing left to keep me here
I'll fade away
I'll turn my back and disappear
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna leave this place for good
Under the ground
I'll live down there without a sound
And never hear
These hissing voices all the same
I'll disappear
Cause living makes me feel ashamed
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I'll leave today
Cause there's nothing left to keep me here
I'll fade away
I'll turn my back and disappear
I'll turn my back and disappear
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna leave this place for good
Under the ground
I'll live down there without a sound
And never hear
These hissing voices all the same
I'll disappear
Cause living makes me feel ashamed
I must believe
There's more above us and below
I must believe
Stranded with this bitch called hope
It keeps me here
When all I wanna do is go
It keeps me here
When all I wanna do is disappear
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I'll leave today
Cause there's nothing left to keep me here
I'll fade away
I'll turn my back and disappear
The city moves
Lunges up right from the ground
The seething Earth
It opens up and spits us out
This vicious child
Nature never wanted us
This vicious child
A cancer burning black into it's heart
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I'll leave today
Cause there's nothing left to keep me here
I'll fade away
I'll turn my back and disappear
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna leave this place for good
Under the ground
I'll live down there without a sound
And never hear
These hissing voices all the same
I'll disappear
Cause living makes me feel ashamed
If this is it
When all we have and ever will
If this is it
Time is running out and standing still
I'll leave today
Cause there's nothing left to keep me here
I'll fade away
I'll turn my back and disappear
I'll turn my back and disappear
Monday, November 3, 2008
Nice to know you
Better than watching Geller bending silver spoons.
Better than witnessing new born nebulas in bloom.
She who sees from 'up high' smiles and surely sings.
Perspective pries her once weighty eyes and it
Gives you wings.
I haven't felt the way I feel today
In so long it's hard for me to specify.
I'm beginning to notice how much this feels
Like a waking limb... in pins and needles,
Nice to know you, good-bye x 4
Nice to know you... to know you
Deeper than the deepest Cousteau would ever go.
Higher than the heights of what we often think we know.
Blessed she who clearly sees the wood for the trees.
To obtain a 'birds eye' is to turn a blizzard to a breeze.
I haven't felt the way I feel today
In so long it's hard for me to specify.
I'm beginning to notice how much this
Feels like a waking limb... pins and needles,
Nice to know you, Good-bye x4
Nice to Know You, To know... You
So could it be that it had been there all along?
I haven't felt the way I feel today
In so long it's hard for me to specify.
I'm beginning to notice how much this
Feels like a waking limb... pins and needles,
Nice to know you, Good-bye, x4
Nice to Know YouTo know..You
Better than witnessing new born nebulas in bloom.
She who sees from 'up high' smiles and surely sings.
Perspective pries her once weighty eyes and it
Gives you wings.
I haven't felt the way I feel today
In so long it's hard for me to specify.
I'm beginning to notice how much this feels
Like a waking limb... in pins and needles,
Nice to know you, good-bye x 4
Nice to know you... to know you
Deeper than the deepest Cousteau would ever go.
Higher than the heights of what we often think we know.
Blessed she who clearly sees the wood for the trees.
To obtain a 'birds eye' is to turn a blizzard to a breeze.
I haven't felt the way I feel today
In so long it's hard for me to specify.
I'm beginning to notice how much this
Feels like a waking limb... pins and needles,
Nice to know you, Good-bye x4
Nice to Know You, To know... You
So could it be that it had been there all along?
I haven't felt the way I feel today
In so long it's hard for me to specify.
I'm beginning to notice how much this
Feels like a waking limb... pins and needles,
Nice to know you, Good-bye, x4
Nice to Know YouTo know..You
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The price of happiness
So I've been really feeling like crap lately. Not because of any sickness or anything just relationship stuff and me being an idiot. A little while ago I wrote about my struggles with maintaining some relationships, and it hasn't gotten any better. I really haven't handled things well. Basically I've just been completely avoiding these people, and the scary thing is I feel like everything is better without them.
At this point I don't really know what to do. I don't want to bring it up to them because either they haven't really thought of it as a big deal or they've been waiting for me to say something, but honestly I don't know what to say. If they have noticed and haven't or won't say anything then what does that say about our friendship? The worst part is, I don't think I want them to say anything. Because again I don't what I would say. "I've been trying to avoid you the past month or so, and I'm doing and feeling a lot better without you?" I just want them out of my life, so I don't have to see them and try to avoid them or try to block them out of my mind when I start thinking about them. All of this has really been bothering me.
Should we really be able to say to someone I don't want to care about you anymore, especially as a christian? Should i really be continuing to avoid these people for my own happiness? I understand that sometimes you need to take a step back from a relationship, but I don't want to start this over again. I want this to end. I just want to stop caring about them, and whenever I think about them, I hate myself for the way I am handling and thinking about this. What am I supposed to do?
Because of his grace and for his glory.
At this point I don't really know what to do. I don't want to bring it up to them because either they haven't really thought of it as a big deal or they've been waiting for me to say something, but honestly I don't know what to say. If they have noticed and haven't or won't say anything then what does that say about our friendship? The worst part is, I don't think I want them to say anything. Because again I don't what I would say. "I've been trying to avoid you the past month or so, and I'm doing and feeling a lot better without you?" I just want them out of my life, so I don't have to see them and try to avoid them or try to block them out of my mind when I start thinking about them. All of this has really been bothering me.
Should we really be able to say to someone I don't want to care about you anymore, especially as a christian? Should i really be continuing to avoid these people for my own happiness? I understand that sometimes you need to take a step back from a relationship, but I don't want to start this over again. I want this to end. I just want to stop caring about them, and whenever I think about them, I hate myself for the way I am handling and thinking about this. What am I supposed to do?
Because of his grace and for his glory.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)