Cause and Effect

It's incredible how we can impact some one's life without meaning to, and many times without know it.

Earlier today I was catching up with Kenny who was visiting State College today, and a girl from my high school sees us and comes over to say hello and talk for a little. I hadn't talked to let alone seen her in two years and our relationship "ended" on not the best of terms, and yet she wanted to come over and talk and said she wanted to catch up.

Now it's not like I barely knew her or anything. In high school she was one my best female friends. We went through some rough times and she really helped me out through a lot of things, but something happened between us that made her, despite our separation want to hang out again. Something impacted her enough and was meaningful enough to where she valued that beyond our arguments and unfortunate "end" to our friendship.

If you read my first blog I kind of wrote about a similar thing with a friend of mines baby Hannah Gloria. She is still always present in my mind, and I am happy to say that
Scott and Anna, Hannah's parents, have had another baby. A year and a day after Hannah's death. I've never even met either of them yet they have had a tremendous impact on my life.

God is so awesome that he can work in us and through us without us even knowing. That's pretty sweet.

Because of his grace and for his glory.

I can't do this anymore

I've been thinking a lot about my future. I thought I had a solid plan of what I would be doing the next couple years. I was going to get an internship next summer, graduate, go to Africa for a couple years then come back and find a job, but now that plan is out the window.

Being back at camp this past summer really instilled a desire and a calling to be back there next year which then messes up my plan for an internship and I might stay at school an extra semester, and then Africa has been heavy on my heart, so at this point it takes priority, so whenever I get over there could just completely change everything.

When I first began to realize that God had other plans in mind I was nervous and kind of upset. I thought my plans fitted perfectly, and that everything was going to work out, but now I have no clue what's next.

At camp we give competition talks to the kids and talk about how we integrate our faith into competition and things like that. God used one of the comp talks I gave to convict me and work on my heart. I find he does that a lot. When I talk and write and give advice I'm being convicted of my own short comings at the same time.

Anyways I talked about how I hate hearing kids saying "I can't " during competitions and activities and stuff. I said, " The way we play the game reflects on us, and what motivates us and what our focus is on. The way we play the game is a reflection on our parents and how we were raised. The way we play the game is a reflection on God, and when we say we can't what we're really saying is that God isn't enough. That the ability to walk and run that He's given us isn't enough. That his grace isn't enough. That Jesus isn't enough."

Now replace "the way we play the game" with "the way we live our lives." Now obviously just because we are Christians and God strengthens us doesn't mean we can do anything. I can't compete at an Olympic level, I can't run a marathon without training, but when we say we can't do something that God is calling us to do what we really say is we don't trust Him, that we don't think He is enough.

When God was changing my plans my first thought was "I can't." There are too many question marks, too many things up in the air, too many obstacles. I just don't want to try, but what I forgot was not my faith in God, but God's faith in me. He knows what I'm capable of better than anyone else. He knows how much I can take beyond my own thoughts. If God is calling me to something then He believes I can do it, and if He thinks I can even knowing all of my short comings and inadequacies shouldn't I be able to believe him and believe myself.

I hope this isn't new to you.

Because of his grace and for his glory.

Time I Understood

" Time I Understood" by Wavorly

As I’m building up this house
I wonder what of it will stay
It seems You just take things away
And I’ll admit I shouldn’t say these things
But I have got to hear from You somehow

Does this have a point to it?
God, I wish I could hear You
You said You’d help me through this
I wish You didn’t have to

Why did You take this away?
I wanted it
Show me that there is no need to be afraid
Can I move on now that it’s gone?

As I travel down this road
I wonder if I should turn home
All this time I’ve felt alone
My head in my hands
Where were You when I was in need?

And I look back to find You chasing me
Sometimes I try and I miss the point of it
It’s about time we die…we’re not down here for us

As You’re tearing down this house
There is only one thing I can say
I’m so glad You take away
And I’ll admit things worked out for the good
And it’s about time I understood