So I've been really feeling like crap lately. Not because of any sickness or anything just relationship stuff and me being an idiot. A little while ago I wrote about my struggles with maintaining some relationships, and it hasn't gotten any better. I really haven't handled things well. Basically I've just been completely avoiding these people, and the scary thing is I feel like everything is better without them.
At this point I don't really know what to do. I don't want to bring it up to them because either they haven't really thought of it as a big deal or they've been waiting for me to say something, but honestly I don't know what to say. If they have noticed and haven't or won't say anything then what does that say about our friendship? The worst part is, I don't think I want them to say anything. Because again I don't what I would say. "I've been trying to avoid you the past month or so, and I'm doing and feeling a lot better without you?" I just want them out of my life, so I don't have to see them and try to avoid them or try to block them out of my mind when I start thinking about them. All of this has really been bothering me.
Should we really be able to say to someone I don't want to care about you anymore, especially as a christian? Should i really be continuing to avoid these people for my own happiness? I understand that sometimes you need to take a step back from a relationship, but I don't want to start this over again. I want this to end. I just want to stop caring about them, and whenever I think about them, I hate myself for the way I am handling and thinking about this. What am I supposed to do?
Because of his grace and for his glory.
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