Lover 2

I thought I'd clarify some things from my last post, and expand on them. I didn't feel like writing a lot last time,so I didn't.

Yes, I am in love.
Yes, the last post was about whom I am in love with.
Yes, I am still single...ladies.

The love of my life is Jesus Christ.

A couple days ago I was having coffee/tea with a friend. We were talking about how things were going, and he told me he felt really ineffective for Christ. He said he was doing his devotions, investing in some younger guys, spending a lot of time praying, and trying to reach out to his friends who aren't Christians, but he felt like he was missing something and that he felt like he wasn't seeing any movement in his own walk or of the guys he was investing in. God told me what to say, and at first I wasn't even sure why, but thinking about it made things a little more clear. I asked him one simple question.

"Do you really love God?"

Do you really love God for who he is, or do you just love him because he saved you? Yes, salvation allows us to see God for who he is, but it shouldn't be why we love him, at least not the only reason. Do you really love God, or are you like Peter and just think you love God?

God is not interested in a one way relationship.

There's a reason the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind. It's not just because he desires and deserves it, but everything that we do, and everything that we are comes out of our relationship with God.

If you don't love God then how do you expect to really love other people? If you don't desperately desire to know God then how do you expect your devotions to be deep, meaningful, and challenging? If you're not madly in love with God then how do you expect to see how he's working in your life? If you're not constantly focused on God then how do you expect to see the opportunities and doors that he opens for you? If you aren't obsessed with God then how can you be really willing to follow him?

Do you really love God?


Because of His grace and for His glory.

Lover

I'll be the first to tell you that I am utterly ridiculous.

I try not to let it show but I stress and worry about everything. This week was pretty rough and I had a breakdown a couple days ago Wednesday/Thursday, but everything that happens to me just reminds me how much I am loved.

The love of my life completely took me by surprise. Usually I like to be the one that people lean on and talk to, but now it's the reverse. I have done nothing to deserve this love, and I don't think I could do anything to screw it up.

Our relationship definitely has its ups and downs. Like when I say or do something completely ridiculous, which I always inevitably do, but I am always taken back. My love will even carry me when things get really bad, okay, so not literally carry but definitely shares in my burdens, and I don't think I could get through a lot of stuff without that love. I don't think I could find another love like this. No matter how hard I try.

I'm madly in love.

Ready

So I wanted to write today, but for awhile I didn't know what to write about, but God let me know what to say.

I've kinda been at the point for a long time where I just can't do it anymore. I've literally had to let God carry me and take over just to get through the day. We should always live like this, but it is frustrating and tiring when you are unable to make it through one day.

For awhile it was keeping up with friends and schoolwork that really wore me out. Then I really struggled with some sin, and now it's just a combination of a lot of different things. The main thing being that I think way too much about everything.

Despite anything that goes on in my life God has always shown me how awesome he is and how much he takes care of me. Sometimes I think God likes to show off.

Anyways. I've kinda been feeling, to be honest since my senior year of high school, that I'm ready.

I'm ready to be done.
With everything.

If God were to call me home (to heaven) later today, I would have no regrets. A lot of times I feel like there is nothing left in life that I really want. I would like to father a child, but to be honest if that doesn't happen I won't be disappointed. I'm just tired of all the crap that life brings.

I'm tired. I'm ready to go home.

I don't really know how to put a lot of things in words. I think that's why I love music. Sometimes when I write in my journal that I don't want people to read (yes I have two journals. One I don't care if people read and one I do.) I just write and eventually it turns into a song. While I can't play guitar and I'm not very good at piano I know what it sounds like in my head. I've also decided that unless God tells me "Yo Nate, Go play music." you probably will never hear me perform my songs or anyone else's, but I'll save explaining that for later.

Anyways one of my favorite songs recently is "Always Guiding" by Elijah Wyman. It puts into words what I've been feeling and even how God responds to that.

So sometimes when I don't know what to say I'll just let a song speak for me.

Sweetest Jesus, I am so tired.

I want to close my eyes and wake up next to You.

I’m dreaming of those golden streets.

I’m dreaming of those pearly gates.

I’m dreaming of the harmonies we’ll sing.

Sweetest Jesus, I am so tired.

I want to close my eyes and wake up next to You.

You are my hope when I have given up,

and when I’ve given up on You,

You wait for me.

You’re always waiting.

You are my strength when I’ve no strength to stand,

and when I’m lost You hold my hand and guide me.

You’re always guiding.

Because of His grace and for His glory.

Thieves

I think the most overlooked part of Jesus' death and resurrection are the two thieves that are crucified with him.

At the service I attended on Easter Sunday/ yesterday the pastor mentioned the two thieves in part of his sermon. I don't remember the capacity in which he talked about them because I started thinking about them and paid less attention to that part of the sermon.

God soon showed me that we are all one of the two thieves.

Both are sinners and are guilty of their crimes, and so are we.
There is no doubt of that.
They both die with Jesus as do we (Colossians), but only one enters heaven.

One ridicules Jesus and clearly does not believe in him. And even though he is faced with certain death refuses to hope and trust in him.

The other recognizes Jesus' innocence and in a sense his sacrifice, but it is not what the thief does or says that leads Jesus to bring him to paradise with Him. It is Jesus' own mercy and grace that saves him just as we are saved.

I'm a thief.

"All treasure is based upon the fact that you would do anything for it, pay any price, but the treasure that is Jesus Christ is based on the fact that he has paid the highest price for you."
-Matt Smethurst

Because of His grace and for his glory

Where are the Christians?

So I just got back from doing a prayer walk with a fellow Nate.

I hope that this will turn into a regular occurrence, and that will continue to reveal things to us through it and use us to reach out to others during our time.

I want to share some things God showed us.

First. It's not funny.

A lot of times we make fun of or laugh about drunk people. How is that being Christ like or showing Christ to them? Some people drink enough only to get a buzz, but a lot of people completely wreck themselves. Why? Why would anyone rationally choose to mess up their body and endanger themselves and others? It's because their either trying to escape or they are empty and trying to fill themselves up with something.

What they are missing is God. Whether they know it or not Their lack of Jesus is what makes people feel empty.

Moving on.

Where are the Christians?

Are they hiding for fear of being shot down?

Do they feel uncomfortable out there?

Who cares if you feel uncomfortable walking downtown surrounded by people who are drunk. Following God and carrying out his will is not easy or comfortable.

Should we not be going to where people are and reaching out to them? Should we not seek out people when they are at their lowest and so them the love and joy of Christ? I don't pretend to know what God has planned for everyone, but we are here at Penn State to reach out to the people around us and influence them and be influenced by them. We have lost the boldness of the Holy Spirit to reach out to people and the overwhelming desire of wanting others to share in our love and joy. We can not hope to accomplish anything without God, but how can we hope to be used without going out there to where needs us to be and wants to use us.

I love the church, but we can not deny that we are part of the problem. Things are so bad because of the lack of Christian interest and involvement.

What are you going to do about it?

Because of His grace and for His glory.

Labels

Christian is a great noun and a poor adjective



If you have ever read Rob Bell's The Velvet Elvis, I hope that you recognize that phrase.



I hate labels. Especially any label that has to do with Christianity.



There is no such thing as Christian music. While a band may or may not be christian it doesn't mean their music is or is not.

A little while ago I was listening to a small obscure "Christian" band. Musically they were okay, but some of the claims they made about God and Christianity were completely bogus.
If anyone who claims to be a christian, but speaks things contradictory to the bible then they are not a christian, or they are very confused, but that is more a heart and mind issue than labels.

Some of my favorite worship songs are not performed by "christian" bands. Some of the bands members aren't even christians, but their music is worshipful to me because they play the best they can, it is good, and I appreciate and give thanks to the source of their talents and inspiration. God. It doesn't matter if they don't believe in Him. He still has given them that talent and is glorified through it.

I don't want this to be just about music, so I'll move on evnethough I have more to say.

God has been reminding me a lot about what attitude toward our profession should look like.

One phrase thatI don't remember where it came from, but I doubt it's my own is: There is no such thing as a secular job for a Christian.

Wherever you go God is already there, and Christ is inyour heart working in you and using you to show his love and glory to others. It should be literally be impossible for us to seperate church and state/job. We are missionarys sent out to show Christs love to those who are lost just as we were once lost and someone showed Christ's love to us.

It doesn't matter if your boss want to leave your religion at home because you can't. We have found our identity in Christ and we should radiate him wherever we are.

There's a lot more I could say, but I don't want to write too much here, but If you want to talk about it more let me know.

Because of His grace and for His glory.

Mississippi

God really showed me some things during spring break.

For the second year I spent my break on the gulf coast doing disaster relief for Katrina victims. I would love to talk about everything I experienced, but I want to say one thing. It's not over.

A lot of people think that after two and a half years there is not as much relief work to be done, but this is far from the truth. Just because a lot of work has already been done and the situation is no longer garnering attention from the media doesn't mean that the problem is solved.

While if you visit the gulf coast you will see businesses and homes and clean streets, but it's what you don't see that tells you how much work is left. Most of the work has moved away from cleaning up to rebuilding and repairing.

Everyday in Mississippi we would drive past a number of open fields. Not that exciting or revealing about the situation, but we soon learned that some of those fields used to be neighborhood and small businesses. There is a drastic difference in conditions from last year to this year, but there is still a lot of work to be done.

Becasue of His grace and for His glory.

First blog/ it's crazy

So I figured after reading other peoples blogs for a couple year I should start my own. I've been writing in my journal things that have been on my mind alot, but now I figured I'd share some of it. Sometimes I don't have a lot to say, and other times I'll have too much, but I'll try my best to put my thoughts into words.

It's crazy how someone who you've never met or even seen can impact your life so much. My cousin was born on Tuesday (March 4). Her name is Leora(pretty sweet name), but while she hasn't impacted my life too much yet, because she undoubtedly will, her birth brought someone else to mind.

Over the summer some friends of mine, Scott and Anna, had a baby. I may be wrong, but I believe their daughter was born on July 13 or 14. It was late at night close to the next day, but her birth is not what affected me so much. It was her death.

Months before Anna gave birth she went for a seemingly routine checkup for herself and the baby. On that visit it was discovered that their baby had a rare deformity/ disease which, if the baby would survive birth would only allow her to live a couple hours at most. I can't tell you what it feels like to hear something like that. I can not imagine it, nor do I want to. I could tell you story after story of what went on in those months leading up to Anna's due date, but I'm gonna skip that for now.

All Scott and Anna wanted was for their daughter to be born naturally and for at least sometime to hold her, but even the chance of either of those happening was slim. Anna had already given birth to two children each of whom were born through caesarean section. Beacause of the risks involved in giving birth naturally after one c-section only about 10% of women try it, but Anna has had two, dramatically increasing the risks.

On the day of their daughters birth Scott and Anna spent all day in the hospital, and after hours of preperation and labor it was finally time. The doctors gave the okay for Anna to try a natural birth, but the had equipment near by just in case. Amazingly the baby was born naturally, and Anna and Scott were able to hold their daughter. An hour later she died. The name of their daughter was Hannah Gloria. Hannah meaning God's grace, and Gloria meaning God's glory. They gave her that name because of the constant ways God revealed his grace and glory to them. I guess Hannah herself didn't have an impact on my life directly, but being with Scott and Anna throught the whole time and seeing what they have gone through has affected me so much. Despite all the difficulties in this Scott and Anna have shown to me what it really means to have peace. They have only grown stronger in thei walks with God in closer in their relationship with each other. It's crazy how God works.

For his grace and glory.